Thursday, July 24, 2014

Sometimes... It Gets Personal

You're not going to believe this... 

When I fell last yr I was not able to return to my job as an upholsterer! The work is heavy and demands strength and dexterity in the hands which I no longer have! My left arm is now shortened...meaning the radius bone in my arm is now bowed and it bumps into the ulna when I try to rotate it! So its different now! It will not rotate, and I cant close my hand! My fingers don't work opposite each other anymore....flexion is 25% of what it should be and rotation is 40% of what it should be!

So needless to say no Upholstery Job is in my future at least not the kind people pay for! I may tackle wrapping a Christmas present....Maybe!! everyone including my x boss  told me to file for SSDI.  Social Security Disability Insurance!  Next year is my yr to retire either way..its going to happen.  Basically I'm fighting to live in a lesser state of poverty  than if I go out with SS alone. Either way my income will be well below what is considered the level of Poverty in the USA...
If i go out with SSDI its about $300 a month more if you multiply that over the rest of my natural life its worth the fight as I plan to live long enough to make Mom happy...she keeps sayin, 
"just wait until you're my age"

So I have no insurance, no job..woe is  me, trust me you do what you have to do!! So I started going to this free clinic in town to get my medicine refills I don't take an overload of meds, no High BP (although recently it has been higher)  no heart problems, no diabetes..... my problems are musco-skeletal, and mental!! 

So part of my challenge is to learn how, not just to file my case,  but to really try to win my case!! Ive been denied in the initial filing stage, I signed up last Nov when my cast came off and I got the bad news about the it took till March to tell me "We don't think your condition will last one full year."  It will be a yr in 60 days!! I went to the orthopedic he said, "go back to occupational therapy and come back in 2 months!! 

 I got bad news for SSA its not a condition!! It's a Physical Impairment and its not going away!! Miracle on 34th st? Crooked arms don't get straight in time...they only get more crooked!!  MY DR told me nothing can be done, he said Degeneration of joint, and cystic changes in the scaphoid!!! Okay that means worse!

!Meanwhile I filled out form after form after form...I've been humiliated,  treated as If I have no intelligence, lied to, and made a fool of along the way! Naive is was my middle name...

It took me a while to realize they intend to bury me, not at wounded knee, but under a ton of BS and paperwork!  I was such a naive idiot the very first form they sent me I actually mailed it back! No one in their right mind would do I said mental!  YOU gotta fax this stuff keep the originals,,,, guess what "we never received it" HONEST ABE??
But then when I asked for and received a copy of my case file there is the mailed in form sitting right in the file next to the faxed in one..they vary slightly cause I sent the original! I had to try and recall my answers didn't quite match up......Lesson learned! Got that now.

So I got copies of all my recent med records  from this free went like this 
  • Employment history-Pt is currently employed ----------???????????? NOT TRUE
  • PT med. History----------------NO MENTION OF L/R-BROKEN WRISTS??????
  • FNP gave me a script for all the  anxiety and short temper I've experienced------Psychiatric Exam next to Anxiety she put (-) and mood swings (-) ???????????????? OKAY then why you giving me this crazy pill? In fact the Exam section of the report was copied and pasted exact from a previous visit 5 months earlier... word for word, comma for comma!!! At that time my arms were still in casts I didn't know my left one was never gonna be the same again.... at that time  I was very optimistic.....but no longer! 
  • There was a question on the first visit paper I had to fill in... "Would you change your life if you could?"  I put NO...but ask me that same Q now??? Heck yes I want my 2 good arms back...they don't re-ask the Q's they just attach your answers from 5 months before to each visit!!  It should not float from one visit to the next now should it? 
  • Had extreme knee pain my left knee (hit the floor in the fall too didn't break it but suspicions are torn ligament) I have no insurance so no MRI was ever done...just have to go with the pain that flares and calms depending on how much I try to use it how hard I push myself I went to the clinic..saw the report it said  PT having trouble with Left knee then the next 3 pages of that report  referred everything to the RIGHT KNEE??????????????
Holy cow!!! I went in today with a highlighter and a bad case of attitude...and demanded an explanation!
 Reconsideration Appeal with SSDI was denied

...and the DR who made that decision cited one of the FREE clinics reports...he said:
    CL (that's me) "stated she was feeling anxiety yet the FNP's notes clearly show none was present, and no mood swings....and CL states "she wouldn't change her life if given a chance"!!!!!!!
Just shoot me now!! Is it just me or is this a load of Bunk?  I mean I know its a free clinic but these people have Degrees! THE FNP who treated me has a PHD in Nursing??????????? I was PARAMEDIC I know how an exam should be done and what it should read like...

SO now I have to Appeal again this 3rd Appeal is called the Law Review Hearing.  

So.... I said, "I need every single contradiction fixed, I want my work history and my medical history to be Right...and I do not want one more of these miserable excuses for medical records to go to the SSA! PUT a note on my file to NOT release anything till it is repaired and reviewed by me personally!

In my opinion the DR who was reading those miserable mixed up  files at SSA on the other end had to have seen what jumped right in my face the Exam section was word for word the exact same in all 5 visits, and all 5 medical reports???? BUT he figures I'm not smart enough to figure it out so he went with it...but he put one line in there that really  got the FNP's all puffed up in the clinic he felt the TP-FNP was not qualified to make a diagnosis.  WOW that stung!! See I never saw the reports BEFORE they sent them off to SSA. 

NO more DR visits period if I go I"M not telling them ONE word!!I'm gonna say I'm here YOU figure out WHAT's Wrong!!!!!!!!!
 I plan to ask for an On the Record Judgement...and I will submit these corrected records!! This just goes to show how the Gov't works so hard against US...

So now I'm learning how to become a SSA  examiner! I know what a
  • Listing is, mine is 1.02 Dysfunction of Major Joint Severe
  • PRW Past Relevant Work the one they are trying to hook me with is a 4 month stink I did 13 yrs AGO -clerical work via a temp agency received NO training for and was fired from
    203.362-010 clerical typist!...uh Did I tell you I type with one finger on my left has taken me 2 days to type up this blog post!!
  • The Grid Rules I am considered "Advanced Age" 202.00 (f)
  • Federal Rule Statute 404.1568 (d) (4)  

and on the envelopes of these forms they keep sending me is the slogan:
 "SSA we're there when you need us." 

Trust me if you plan to file a SSDI claim you better hire a representative...I did and guess what?

One week later he withdrew....he had an job offer come along he couldnt refuse...

Like I said Just shoot me now!!

Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Swamps Are Gardens too!

Swan Lake and Gardens is basically a swamp! The water is shallow, filled with Cyprus trees and the water is now smothered with duckweed, a tiny small 2 lobed plant the size of a pin head! Its not a good plant to have in a it cuts out sunlight from reaching the bottoms of the lake bed.  When wild birds fly from one lake to the other they can transport this weed on their feathers and feet so it gets moved around pretty fast and it grows like wildfire I put some in my wee water garden and its now filled and clogging my pump!

Swan Lake has a large collection of swans....they roam and swim openly through out the park...although I don't see any I'm assuming the wings are clipped some way that makes me sad, I go to see the other wildlife that fly in and out of the area it is a Wildlife area too.  And the swans are beautiful, and well cared for.  We had a nice cool day for a change so we wandered around and enjoyed what we saw!!!

can you stand on one leg
Trumpeter Swan Alaska and western Canada

hybrid duck?
Hybrid ?

butterfly garden
butterfly garden


how many turtles can...
these turtles were stumped!

Belted Kingfisher
the belted kingfisher tried to hide

The Green Anole
sunning anole
In the lime light

Great Egret
The great Egret in a tree..
Whooper swan
Whooper Swan Eurasian species 
Auzie Black Swans
Black Swan from Australia 

Coscoroba Swan SA
Coscoroba Swan South America
They have Bewick's Swans too but I didnt GET a photo of one...I saw a hybrid swan tho...he had a white body and a black neck! they had him in a pen by himself
mute swan
Mute Swan Europe introduced to USA and doing well in the East
      this soft shelled turtle was pretty big I'd guess a foot across!

soft shelled turtle


silver  spotted skipper
Silver spotted skipper

green heron
Green Heron

Keep your head down
Great Blue Heron

male wood duck non breeding
male wood duck non breeding


And a very cool winged sculpture! There is an Iris festival here each spring,,,and tourist come by the bus load to admire the gardens..

Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Home Team 4 Visitors NADA!

This past weekend we made the trip upstate to visit family and attend a ball game in the city!
We ate at a vegetarian Mexican eatery they had sidewalk dining so we people watched while we ate something we don't get to do out in the rurals where we live..unless we go to Walmart~

! Mom has never been to a "real" ballgame, this is not the Braves or the Yankees or the Mets like I used to attend when I lived up in NYC but its the Greenville Drive! Its way more fun than a Major League game for the reasons I'm sure you already know!  I don't think I saw one single spitting match or one inappropriate scratching!!

IT was HOT as heck! but the first pitch was at 7 pm and soon the sun went behind a cloud and then behind the stadium seats so we enjoyed it after that! 

They Won 4-0 Pretty cool!

I saw a few things along the way...

this is Shower Bath Falls its bigger than some  and smaller than some! the book says its a 13 ft falls...not much water coming over although we have had more rain lately...

This stump has a great spot to live and die don't you think?

Found a roadside meadow! Full of small tidbits and this butterfly...tell me is it a Pearl Crescent?

the mountains had a summer haze laying over was cooler up there though!

Now back home its 97 degrees 50 % humidity...and tomorrow we expect 1-2 inches of rain! I hope it pushes the heat out for a while.

Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Reluctant Traveler

My Mom...I've dragged her to points of interest and beyond!! Here she is at Yellowstone, in 1998 I dragged her over 8,000 miles and 34 days of car travel that trip! I've dragged, pushed and insisted she accompany me on zillions of trips...near and far, she always went along! Never said NO!

I'm the middle child....not the baby and not the oldest, I'm sure there are lots of middle children out there!!
I'm not looking for sympathy here...this is the reality of life ...but my ability to go "places" has reached a snag...ya'll know my mother had to have hip surgery in April...and since her release she has had a tough time, her mobility is down to barely able to get around using a walker, she does have a more mobile 3 wheel thing we call The Rover...but she gets tired so easy just pushing it around exhausts her.  She is gonna be 90 in a few I have no one to watch over my Mom if I want to take off and she is getting too frail to make longer trips.  My Mom has always been my best Pal...we have done sooooo many things together!! 

Here she is walking at Swan Lake and Gardens, Sumter SC 2009

this goose was Mom's new best friend

Here she is walking on the dirt road where we live when I insisted we take a walk ....its 2 miles round trip!

Mom walking in 2009 carrying her oxygen in a back pack!

I'm what you call stuck between a rock and a hard soft place... I have 2 sisters last year my Mom went to spend time in Colorado with my older sister who is retired and has ample space and she doesn't travel except to come here.  But when I broke both my arms...(*&^%$) she came back and decided not to go back to CO at that time.  My younger sister has made choices that keep her nose to the grind stone so tight she is not available most of the time, my son is wrapped up in his own life as one should that leaves me! 

Here she is bundled up on the boardwalk at Congaree National Swamp when I insisted to go visit the park in the dead of winter...

Mom hugging a tree on the boardwalk
So on the 4th of July...Mom and I were quiet at home we did nothing special..
Mom July 4th 2011 on a picnic in Sandhills Wildlife Refuge

except I had the Walking Dead marathon to keep me busy,,,she actually watched a few episodes with me and asked so many questions, why did they do that, who are those people, whats with all these horrible effects of blood and guts?...I try to explain its an escape for me...I'm not sure she gets it...the cooler weather meant at least we could go outside for a breath of fresh air from the humidity of the SC summer we relaxed on the porch.

Here she is in 2010 when I dragged her to down to the coast for 4 days we explored Charleston &  Edisto Island


So this coming weekend...we are traveling upstate for a weekend at younger sister's home.  I am looking forward to it we leave Friday!  We have plans to attend a minor league Ball Game on Saturday night, And Sunday we will return home and we are bringing Maggie with us for a week...she loves it at our home as its completely peaceful here.  

2006 When I dragged Mom up to New England in October, she didn't even own a winter coat, don't need one in SC!

Mom by the lighthouse in Maine 
Then I dragged her to Niagara Falls in the least we got her a coat!

Mom Niagara Falls, NY

pondering at 40 acre rock Kershaw, SC

Today we need some supplies...a trip to the Piggly Wiggly I ask "you wanna take a ride with me?""No, I don't feel well enough to go." 

Mom in 1970 

Here is a list of states I've dragged Mom since I got my driver's license in 1969! 
in Alphabetical order:
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois 
Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee
Texas, Vermont, Virginia, DC, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming!!
She has been, but not with me, to Florida & Utah also! 

Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Front Line

On the Home Front:
Well I got 6 and a 1/2 pints of Jam from my berries! Its yummy too..and some plums are on the 
way to ripe maybe by the 4th I will be plum picking!  We have no travel plans for the 4th is not a good time to travel anyway...way to many drunks celebrators on the road! 

On the Blog Front: During the time my blog roll was not working I did some clean up! A lot of people had just given up their blog and hadn't updated in a long time so I deleted those.  I thought Blogger would go to the Dead Zone! Glad it didn't....Yet! 
BUT it could happen. Do you get annoyed with those on your blog roll who you visit and comment regularly and they never reciprocate? I have run into that and after a good- hearted try I just stop visiting and eventually delete that blog from my roll, this way I can better manage my online time and my blog call roll fits neatly on one page! 

On the Nature Front: I guess its a balancing act there too! Ha. Found this Dragon fly up on the wire he seemed to be trying to keep his balance!
 I've seen lots of dragon flies around! More than a normal number...and frogs too!

A couple frogs found their way into our water collection barrels and now we have tadpoles in both of the short barrels! I moved a few of them to my water garden!! 

They sing loud at night!! Almost too loud wont be long till they will be looking for new digs I imagine!
On the Hobby Front:
Been trying to figure out how to get macro shots  with this Panasonic camera! I have found out a few things it does not have long range zoom in the A-S-P settings..only Auto! It has 2 auto settings so it serves the need but I do enjoy some macro now and first couple of attempts, these are not extreme macros which I want to try at some point..I do need to get the tripod out its just awkward to handle.

And here are the plums I'm waiting on...they are nearly ready.  Once they turn more orange in color they will be sweet..If I pick too early they will be too tart.

On the Bird Front:
Two things! First Wood Thrushes--oh the beautiful song they lures me into the woods in my bare feet trying to snap a photo of them...for some reason they are up high in the trees I don't know maybe training young, maybe eating the wild cherry's not suitable for human consumption but just right for birds! Whilst out looking for them I found this
 Just to show that birds work well together! I heard the ruckus and went to investigate! Its a little shaky in the beginning, ok well its shaky throughout but you will see why..


                                                   AND yes I did get him down...


Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Sticky Situation!

We just had a good downpour--this time of year with these high temps and humidity the storms can get violent! Before the storms hit, I went out for --Drum Roll Please--

The berries are in various stages of ripe and they're small this year but plentiful! I see wild plums are doing better so far too;  I hope to get a few from the bush in our field before the birds get to them..

This is not blood, but OUCH anyway.....Fingers get tie dyed a bit...
 you gotta get past these thorns to get the berries I ended up with quite a few scratches for my one quart  of berries oh and one TICK attached itself to me!! Damn- that hurt worse than the briers! The brier is sharp it goes in like a fish hook~~~> and its a rule you gotta curse like a sailor  as you attempt to extract it, 

OF course there's always something else getting my attention...this buckeye butterfly on this tiny flower and the bonus beetle on the other stem no clue what t is...kinda looks like a stink bug? Maybe...

and a Queen Anne's Lace was blooming nearby...I love the way the bud is like a cage...

...and trumpet vine were shouting out "take my picture"

and some dandelions!


and present!

  this was Berry Sexy a couple of Japanese Beetles!

I got about a quart maybe more...enough for a cobbler, pie, or some jam...I'm leaning toward jam!

Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.