The Meaning of Life.

I have something new..and free...there is a lot to be said about being frugal! Well here it is, what do you think??
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"Never look a gift horse in the mouth."


Casey for scale. 

Not impressed? LoL...well you might be if you need to split wood! This chopping block is helping to save my back and represents hope and intentions.

Found this out: the deal with Google is unlimited photo storage but they reduce the pixels (quality) to 16.  So instead of adding more content to Flickr I'll use Google for now! It is a slow upload I don't see me being able to move 16 tons (and what do you get) of photos over there.  However it is very simple to use.  So the quality is going downhill...my camera refuses to give me crisp focus, and now even that is reduced.  *sigh* so be it. 

...my heart is just not in it right now...it seems so trivial.  

American Beauty getting ready to shed this year.

Sadly my Mom and my Sis are gone.  Drove away just like that. Gut wrenching. I struggle in between the life of my parent and the  life of my son.  The 60 or so years between them is the span I currently occupy...been where one is now, and on my way to where the other is.  Three generations all struggling with different, but somehow related, challenges of life due to...
                                         Age, Time, and Place.

My father transplanted his wife and three daughters from Tennessee to South Carolina back in 1960. By the first of the year I'll be the only one of us still here. It's like an encyclopedia of memories ripped out of a lifetime. Women moved to foreign lands by men. I am standing firm I will not be moved, not permanently. I will make my stand where I call home. 

Casey is slowing down but still full of inquisitiveness 

I'm between both ends of the spectrum...one life nearing it's terminus, and one suffering from a bout of "early onset midlife crisis". My mom and my son.
"Youth is wasted on the young."  In the  middle I'm struggling... "life is like a box of chocolates."  "No one gets out alive." I have no perfect answers...I watch both and I have nothing to add..I observe in stunned silence  my feelings are, glad I'm not <-- there anymore and glad I'm not --> there yet.  What can I say?  "If I'd known then what I know now?"

Maybe that is the quote for me to take with me on my journey to --> there.


Downy Woodpecker thinking, observing, pondering his life...

I remarked to my son about the recently cut forest just down the road. Mature trees, there today gone tomorrow...just like that, as it had been clear cut when I returned from CO this past summer.  "I won't see that forest mature again in my lifetime." All the beautiful gold of the Hickory, the reds of the Dogwood, the surly orange of the Maples, the yellow of the Tulip Popular, and the many tones of brown of Oaks, NOT here this fall.  If only I had known last fall I'd have appreciated those colors so much more..the last time I would see those trees in brilliance. 

He seemed surprised and shocked when I said that. Neither will my Mom see it.  I read something she wrote long ago, I just came across it the other day.
She looks out her window and speaks to the trees and leaves she witnesses that sparkle on them, "You sing to me and it is beautiful."  She wrote that in a time of loneliness she was experiencing. I felt like a snoop when I found it and read it.  Her words so confidential and beautiful, then again maybe I needed to hear that NOW.

 If my son is lucky maybe one day will walk down this old dirt road again...maybe his son will be by his side and they will see a forest in brilliant fall display and he will recall that day. He will be the age I am now.  If he does I hope he remembers it fondly...I can't say. I can say this...
"Nothing is forever."  He will have to see it for both of us, he will hear it sing. 

Female Northern Cardinal observing, wondering, thinking, what's next...

I launched just fine, but he is not me, what worked for me will not work for him...so what I learned is pretty useless to him...on the other end of that fire-stick burning is my mom who requires around the clock guardianship she's still independent enough to be a danger to self....she remains defiant.  

Both struggle for independence, and the secret to life. Both falling short as we all do. 

Casey often stands with his head outside and his body inside. Living in between two worlds?

"If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain."

                          Muhammad is on the way to the mountain.

                                                                                                  

                                      "Are we there yet?"

 

                   

Casey observes...everything is harder for him these days he has to hold his back legs together much of the time to support himself, he wobbles and he sometimes falls over, he is pretty much deaf and he is very short sighted... he likes to sit up here and think...I'm glad I have been able to spend time with this sweet thinker.  I sure wish he could talk. I'd ask him, "what are we supposed to be doing with our time on this Planet?"  He observes life around him I observe him as he observes life around him.

I think he would answer, "just do your best and move on." 

PEACE

Every day is a new Adventure.

Waiting on the World to Change

My World that is!!

...so most regular readers know I am trying to get my home and grounds back up to snuff after many years of neglect started in 2012 after the divorce decree!  So next on the list (altho it needs a new roof and a new HVAC unit), Im going ahead and doing some of the things I can do on my own or with minimal help and investment.

The shed is an eye sore! This shot shows how close it is to the house...its not normally THIS junky around  it I'm dragging stuff out in prep for the "TAKE DOWN" 

Its currently about 9 x 9...with a lean-to side of an additional 8 ft x 12 ft. an "L" shaped building I dn't need it to be that big. I used to have 2 riding mowers one died so its gone, I have 2 bicycles I only need one, so one is going soon...and there is more of my X's old cast off stuff that is going now that I am ready to tackle this job.  

As the house grew, with the porch addition, the shed got closer, and it blocks the view of the trees out back from the screen porch...so I've decided to make it smaller and move it. My new plan is for it to be 8 x 16 and rectangular in shape. One end is only a 3 sided affair as the mower and bicycles, wheel barrows etc go in there, I think a sliding barn style door will enclose that part of it and make it more weather tight.

 This is a big project.  I had hoped to actually rip it back to the studs and pick it up and move it over and turn the door so it is facing East. It currently faces the house! So I removed all the "stuff", the contents, and its now scattered all over the place and it looks like I'm having a huge rummage sale!! Tarps of every size and color are attempting to keep my gotta keep stuff under cover. It is a hideous mess. It may be too rotten to safely move so may have to completely dismantle it. I put most of the Stuff in storage containers to keep it dry. 

The new location is over to the right, and the gable/door end currently facing South will face East it will rotate 90 degrees. I want to keep it close to the house so when  doing yard maintenance or working on projects it's close enough that its not a deterrent from getting chores done.  In other words I don't want to walk a mile to get a screw driver!

when moved it will occupy this space (above).  I have to cut 2 trees, not a problem as one is bent at a funny angle and one is small--- will do that as soon as it quits raining!!  I have made  progress, now we have had several days of rain and drizzle, so Im stuck inside waiting on better weather to work in.

 

the end is all open now

the front is almost gone

these 2 large camellia trees, will stay although they are blocking some of the view maybe a trim back to shrub size is in order (?), it will be a change for me to get used to as the shed being where it is has also offered more privacy, but I'm ready to make that change and open UP the view around the back.

I can already see daylight!

PEACE

Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

One thing you can count on is...

SO  much can happen in such a short time....I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to move into my house. So I moved in last Sunday I can't believe its only a week seems like a yr. I don't know that this arrangement will be the best in the long run, will be permanent, or whatever....but for now its good! One day at a time eh? Mom is in full support of my decision...now I can have some space to prepare for my future whatever it may be...I love her God knows so I'm right here a stones toss away.  And now she has a spare room for the other sisters to pitch in and help out, and already that has happened much to my great happiness as we got a helping hand and a lovely visit from one sis this weekend. 

and there was light!

The electric has been shut off since 2013...finally it's back on.  

So all I've done is move stuff from point A to point B.  I'm probably the only person you know who moved using a garden tractor...LoL...it didn't make sense to use the van and trailer as I could bring the garden trailer door to door!! 

Good news --all my plumbing works...well  I haven't tried the dish washer yet as I am just happy its not leaking  I don't really cook I enjoy eating raw veggies--and I microwave a few things.. I have not  thrown the breaker on the cook stove yet...In case my wire repair sends me to  that old sparky home in the sky... so I have to purchase a new fire extinguisher first JIC. 

all I have is Antenna TV might get satellite when it's time for the Walking Dead 7 in the fall...or I'll watch it at Mom's she actually got to like it since I've put her through 6 seasons of it..lol but to be fair she put me through 10 yrs of Matlock, Bonanza and Virginian repeats. Her memory is such that she could watch the same episode every day and not recall it so it's always fresh and new to her. 

TV is not that important to me...I prefer music! And art projects so NOW I have place to do that.

 setup the 3rd bedroom as a multipurpose room for sewing, art, and other crafty projects. 

Found one problem with a switch that turns on a light it is NOT wired to...:o))?? Take it with a grain of salt.... will worry about that one later too...don't need that light right now.  I had all the rooms set up except the bedroom and that' s where I'm working now.  The bed is up of course and who knew I had so MANY books, CD's, Tapes, and such...The dogs are a bit confused but I think they will figure it all out in time...they can come and go between both homes so they are getting lots of exercise...LoL. 

I went with the blue green on the seat cushion. 

 I'm spinning my old LP's from the 70's its kinda neat to hear this old stuff again, eating veggies and  humus, and staying up late, (okay till 10:30 at least) and Mom can turn her Westerns up as loud as she wants them to be :o) --we got the medical alert thing for her and I pop in and out all day to make sure she is good and help with pills, meals, the cleaning, all that jazz you know. She is not to cook on the stove top but she can microwave the heck outta stuff...and today we cooked up a huge pot of her favorite Pinto Beans so she has only to heat and eat.  

It takes a village...this way the sisters can come and help out and have excuse as it has been there is on place for them to sleep and have a spot of their own for personal time and I completely understand that.  

It's impossible to be everything and have anything left over for yourself so this is to help me make it through the long haul, I need not explain that to y'all as I'm sure you can understand I need to get myself ready for the next stage of Mom's life the one where I am going to need more hands on deck.  I made the decision 10 yrs ago to move back to SC to help my mother, to buy my house back, and to eventually live in it..so this move is 10 years in the making--if I am nothing else, I never give up!

I still have a few projects to complete and soon work will begin on that and I'll update as I go along...

and we hope we can get back to our town trips...we need a break from all the work.

welcome home....

PEACE

Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.