I have something new..and free...there is a lot to be said about being frugal! Well here it is, what do you think?? <----------
"Never look a gift horse in the mouth."
Casey for scale.
Not impressed? LoL...well you might be if you need to split wood! This chopping block is helping to save my back and represents hope and intentions.
Found this out: the deal with Google is unlimited photo storage but they reduce the pixels (quality) to 16. So instead of adding more content to Flickr I'll use Google for now! It is a slow upload I don't see me being able to move 16 tons (and what do you get) of photos over there. However it is very simple to use. So the quality is going downhill...my camera refuses to give me crisp focus, and now even that is reduced. *sigh* so be it.
Found this out: the deal with Google is unlimited photo storage but they reduce the pixels (quality) to 16. So instead of adding more content to Flickr I'll use Google for now! It is a slow upload I don't see me being able to move 16 tons (and what do you get) of photos over there. However it is very simple to use. So the quality is going downhill...my camera refuses to give me crisp focus, and now even that is reduced. *sigh* so be it.
...my heart is just not in it right now...it seems so trivial.
American Beauty getting ready to shed this year.
Sadly my Mom and my Sis are gone. Drove away just like that. Gut wrenching. I struggle in between the life of my parent and the life of my son. The 60 or so years between them is the span I currently occupy...been where one is now, and on my way to where the other is. Three generations all struggling with different, but somehow related, challenges of life due to...
Age, Time, and Place.
My father transplanted his wife and three daughters from Tennessee to South Carolina back in 1960. By the first of the year I'll be the only one of us still here. It's like an encyclopedia of memories ripped out of a lifetime. Women moved to foreign lands by men. I am standing firm I will not be moved, not permanently. I will make my stand where I call home.
Age, Time, and Place.
My father transplanted his wife and three daughters from Tennessee to South Carolina back in 1960. By the first of the year I'll be the only one of us still here. It's like an encyclopedia of memories ripped out of a lifetime. Women moved to foreign lands by men. I am standing firm I will not be moved, not permanently. I will make my stand where I call home.
Casey is slowing down but still full of inquisitiveness
I'm between both ends of the spectrum...one life nearing it's terminus, and one suffering from a bout of "early onset midlife crisis". My mom and my son.
"Youth is wasted on the young." In the middle I'm struggling... "life is like a box of chocolates." "No one gets out alive." I have noperfect answers...I watch both and I have nothing to add..I observe in stunned silence my feelings are, glad I'm not <-- there anymore and glad I'm not --> there yet. What can I say? "If I'd known then what I know now?"
"Youth is wasted on the young." In the middle I'm struggling... "life is like a box of chocolates." "No one gets out alive." I have no
Maybe that is the quote for me to take with me on my journey to --> there.
Downy Woodpecker thinking, observing, pondering his life...
I remarked to my son about the recently cut forest just down the road. Mature trees, there today gone tomorrow...just like that, as it had been clear cut when I returned from CO this past summer. "I won't see that forest mature again in my lifetime." All the beautiful gold of the Hickory, the reds of the Dogwood, the surly orange of the Maples, the yellow of the Tulip Popular, and the many tones of brown of Oaks, NOT here this fall. If only I had known last fall I'd have appreciated those colors so much more..the last time I would see those trees in brilliance.
He seemed surprised and shocked when I said that. Neither will my Mom see it. I read something she wrote long ago, I just came across it the other day.
She looks out her window and speaks to the trees and leaves she witnesses that sparkle on them, "You sing to me and it is beautiful." She wrote that in a time of loneliness she was experiencing. I felt like a snoop when I found it and read it. Her words so confidential and beautiful, then again maybe I needed to hear that NOW.
If my son is lucky maybe one day will walk down this old dirt road again...maybe his son will be by his side and they will see a forest in brilliant fall display and he will recall that day. He will be the age I am now. If he does I hope he remembers it fondly...I can't say. I can say this...
"Nothing is forever." He will have to see it for both of us, he will hear it sing.
Female Northern Cardinal observing, wondering, thinking, what's next...
I launched just fine, but he is not me, what worked for me will not work for him...so what I learned is pretty useless to him...on the other end of that fire-stick burning is my mom who requires around the clock guardianship she's still independent enough to be a danger to self....she remains defiant.
Both struggle for independence, and the secret to life. Both falling short as we all do.
Casey often stands with his head outside and his body inside. Living in between two worlds?
"If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain."
Muhammad is on the way to the mountain.
Casey observes...everything is harder for him these days he has to hold his back legs together much of the time to support himself, he wobbles and he sometimes falls over, he is pretty much deaf and he is very short sighted... he likes to sit up here and think...I'm glad I have been able to spend time with this sweet thinker. I sure wish he could talk. I'd ask him, "what are we supposed to be doing with our time on this Planet?" He observes life around him I observe him as he observes life around him.
I think he would answer, "just do your best and move on."
I think he would answer, "just do your best and move on."
PEACE
Every day is a new Adventure.
Hello, I paid the discounted Flickr amount for this year. I am not happy the price went up and I feel stuck. My family has dwindled down to just my sisters and brother and of course my hubby and son. MY parents have both been deceased for years now. The holidays have me thinking of past years when the whole family got together. That is a great chopping block for you or does your son help chop wood. I think our country has given up on the idea of old growth forest, the Koch Bros and their logging/paper company will take down the rest in the Pacific Northwest. It kind of makes me sick. I hope you and Casey hang in there. Take one day at a time and enjoy life.
ReplyDeleteI will probably pay for the first yr at the reduced price, but even that is a hardship right now! The Koch bros a prime example of HOW much does anyone person really need in life to be fulfilled? The destroy simply to have more money which they already have more than anyone could possibly ever need.
DeleteBig hugs my friend. We completely, completely understand. The trees will win in the end is what Steve reminded me and he is right. We will inflict so much damage before then, but I have no doubt nature will exist long after the human part of nature is gone.
ReplyDeleteThe Earth can and will erase all signs of us within one hundred years or less! That makes me feel good and sad when I think of all the years we could have been in tune with our Planet that we will lose.
DeleteWow, this is a pretty philosophical post. Seems like meaning of life is slipping away from you. It seems to me the most difficult part must be dealing with a grown son who should by now be well established in life and helping his mom, not the other way around. All I can say is good luck. I hope all goes well for you.
ReplyDeleteYes this is so true...when someone you love needs your help you do what you can up to a point and hope for the best. I hope that point will be reached in a couple weeks!
DeleteOne more thing...as for the trees they are a symptom of what is taking place in the constant assault on nature, and it is not going to stop. But as Jennifer says above, nature will heal itself long after humans have ceased to exist.
ReplyDeleteYes totally agree...I have trees on my little acreage that are HUGE...they have not been cut for more than 45 yrs so some really Big Pines and even tho the hardwoods have not fared as well due to the Hurricanes we've had we have some really beautiful trees right here on our little homestead.
DeletePretty deep thoughts Sondra, life can be sad and happy, life can be tough or easy. But tough teaches us to be tough and strong. I have no idea what easy teaches us since I never had it easy. But survived and you will too. Casey was and still is such an adoring little guy since he stumble upon your life.I think he would tell you to yes move on. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSure wish the pictures you posted would show you always had such great ones to post.
Hi Jo...sorry to hear your camping trip fell through, seems we both have things beyond our control calling the shots lately. Mom survived her plane trip and today they finish up the drive from Denver airport over the Rockies to the western side and her Journey is over! She will be happy to be reunited with sis and Jimmy! I will adjust it's just hard but today I have wood to cut and the sun is OUT after 6 straight days of pouring rain!
DeleteVery deep thoughts here Sondra and I think Jo gives good advice about taking care of yourself. Maybe these dark days of winter makes us think deeper about things and once the days lengthen, Christmas is gone and Spring comes along life will be better. So look after yourself.
ReplyDeleteOn a different note for some reason I cant see your pictures, probably something my end.
All the best.
Hi Dave, I reworked the pictures so I hope they show up now...I did figure a work around and hopefully my newest post is showing up...I'm going through a lot of change and it seems I don't deal well with the stress of change like I once did...nothing gets easier! Thanks for all your support.
DeleteA post to make you think Sondra and I echo the sentiments in the comments...take care of yourself
ReplyDeleteHi Pam...sometimes real life just grabs us up and we have to pay attention to the message least it get lost in the shuffle. Thanks for your visits!! So much appreciated.
DeleteI think this is the post where I couldn’t see the pictures before. I know I read it while we were still in Oregon. And had a little almost tears time, because, yeah.... anyway, I think Casey has it right. Or at least he shares my philosophy.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sallie for coming back to read again and leave this sweet comment. My Casey is going through his own challenge right now I don't know his age (15-18 maybe) but he has slowed down more than half what he was only a month ago...he is almost completely deaf, his sight is very poor his teeth are bad some have fallen out, he is having more and more trouble walking and has increased weakness in this back legs...and he has begun to refuse food and is sometimes incontinent. My hope for him is he will quietly and peacefully go in his sleep.
DeleteOh and the pictures here and all your posts after are just fine now.
ReplyDelete