Nothing uplifting to report today...my X is still in the hospital although he is ready to be released we are wading through miles of red tape to find a permanent solution for him...Its a very difficult decision to be making, Its not my call so at least I can hide some feelings behind that knowledge ---doesn't make it any easier to accept tho!! IF you are thinking you may need long term care do yourself a favor and prepare for it..study medicaid rules and law now so you know what to expect if you don't have LTC insurance.
So here is what happened today my nerves are raw I'm stressed, I don't sleep well these days so I'm grumpy 24/7--- recall that line You wouldn't like me when I'm angry?? Anyways...go over to the X's apartment to get some of his things to take to him tomorrow.......here comes some of his nosy neighbors...one chimes up
HER= "how is he, we heard he died, at the McDonald's Coffee Club all they do is talk about him."
ME= "he is improving, eating well now, and getting stronger."
HER= "and.... I heard gossip about you, you're his X wife, a couple who visited said you were feeding him when the sign over the bed said Nothing BY Mouth."
ME=" Well what they didn't know is I was allowed to feed him they did not take down the sign....and did you know what goes around comes around for people who gossip?"
Her face turned red, she excused herself..
That comment bothered me all day..I wish I could figure out Turn the OTHER CHEEK
it's not the comment I made that bothered me....it's the one SHE made...
I knew the couple she was speaking of, they had come to visit with big smiles and apparently flapping mouths...so I tried all day to recall that couple's name..and
Bingo it finally came into my mind...
So I looked them up in the small town phone book, there they are...I dialed...and I inquired are you the couple who visited ..yada yada,,,,
YES that was Us, she almost foamed with glee---
ME= Okay great well I wanted to tell you I ran into a friend of yours today and she shared some gossip with me!
HER= Really?
ME= Yes she did...she told me how you were sharing your visit to my X's bedside with the coffee club, making it sound as if I was injuring my X by feeding him..when a sign on the wall said Nothing by Mouth..
HER= She stammered..
I continued..
ME= Gossip is hurtful, its hateful and it can come right back to bite you...the gossip you were spreading got right back to me, and now I'm getting right back to you to let you know how I feel about it.... amazing how it comes back around!
HER="what I said was taken wrong, I'm sure"
ME= "no she was quite clear on what was said and who said it..'
HER= "I would never intentionally hurt someone with gossip"
ME= Really, well you did just that, and don't forget when you're the one who is NOT there it's probably YOU they will gossip about next..and by the way....you have my permission to tell all at the McDonald's Coffee Club, that I will personally call each and everyone of them whose gossip gets back to me if it is about me...I wont gossip behind a back I will come right up front and tell you how I feel about petty pointless gossip and the people who spread it right to your face!!
Do you think I over reacted?? I felt better when I hung up!!!
PEACE
Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.
No you did not over react. I think what you did was great. People should mind their own business and keep quiet. Did she not think that it was hospital food or that you brewed up some poison and home an brought it with you. I hope she learned a valuable lesson but probably not.
ReplyDeleteI think I lived up north just long enough to realize that 'NO' Is an option. Sometimes I get the drift from mainstream that we all mustl smile and be easy going no matter what we are going through... in "Stepford" style, I just cant be that way~Well I guess since I was doing nothing really gossip worthy she had to make it SEEM as if I was doing something Wrong in order to make it gossip worthy-- I dunno.
DeleteNo over reaction at all Sondra. The best way to deal with gossips is to confront them.
ReplyDeleteI've a small family, that a while ago seemed to be constantly gossiping about what they thought was best for me. They live about 50 miles from me. After a conversation on the phone to one of them, I don't hear from any of them now. Just how I like it.
I understand what you mean..family is another matter, if my family is talking about me its usually to try and help in some way.... but when people who have no dog in my fight start talking.....they gotta get out of the picture!!
DeleteYou are quite the badass! Nothing wrong with calling someone out on something crappy they did. They may not have even realized their idle chatter affected real people, but now they will hopefully think twice about running their mouth. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteThat's how I feel, I'm tired of people trying to sugar coat life,,,,how can we learn if we never deal with the crappy stuff? I took my rose colored glasses off at age one!
DeleteGood for you!!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!!!
ReplyDelete