Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Lost n Found


NO this is NOT one of my girls...its a lost dog I found yesterday..he has been wandering around on the road I travel, a man I saw nearby said that dog appeared in the area a couple days ago...I brought him home.  I put up some found posters and put his photo on the Animal Shelter Facebook page, so far no calls...



Here he is...a sweet dog, no problem he loves to eat and sleep! He is small, and looks to be an older dog, I guess I'm sort of making a commitment to him if no one claims him. 
What to name him tho???? I was calling him Cheeto but it wont stick....I tried Amigo that didnt fit, 
We had a dog named Grizz so that one has been used...so has the following
Tamba, Reny, Cyrano, Betty Sue, Jess, London, Longhorn, Moniletto, Lucky, Penny, Snowy, Peppie, Colorado, Muppet, Manfred, Breezy, Sam, Spanky, Indy, Maggie, DixieBell, Sundance, Jake, Jimmy, Flossie, and Annie!!!

Help me out with name suggestions---I like 2 syllable words--

Even if he goes back to his home where ever that may be (no chip in him)...he needs a name while he is here!  



PEACE
Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Monday, September 22, 2014

one.......good thing

I see people write on their posts...it was a good day or had a good day I can't wait till that's me, but I can't pretend all is good when its NOT, that's just not me...If I'm having a bad day it is a bad day---and vice-versa of course..Time flies when you are relaxing with a cup of coffee in the mornings...I have some time to kill before I head off into my day.  Does it seem that there is no caffeine in coffee anymore? Not long ago mom and I did something we never do...went out for breakfast!! So we had Diner coffee...within minutes I had a caffeine high going..I wonder what coffee they are using, I could use a punch in the arm right about now...

I am "scheduled" to be at the hospital today we really hope this is the day they tell us we can make arrangements for him to be transferred..see its not a treatment problem, its an insurance thing at this juncture...Last week we toured several facilities and today I'm supposed to stop by another one...trust me it is no fun what so ever, but it has to be done...I hope soon this will all be a distant nightmare.  

My CO sister is here now...well she is at my other sister's house upstate and staying with Mom...she came down and spent the weekend here with me and she did the hospital visiting to give me a break which I dearly clearly needed...and my friend came by last night and we viewed  episodes of Breaking Bad, and watched our favorite characters have a worse day than we could ever have...wee bits of unreality help keep the mind off ones own reality..

As soon as possible I am taking my camping vacation...the weather is changing, we had a gorgeous weekend..and fall is sneaking in quietly. 

I just remarked I wanted to get a table for my sewing machine...because its so heavy I can't manage getting it in and out of the closet and setting it up to mend a broken seam its way too much trouble...if I had it in a cabinet I would be more apt to try and use it..I went to the recycle center to get rid of my plastic....and there was one sitting there in the dead end furniture pile....
signs all over say -no scavenging-!! But I asked the attendant anyway she said once a guy took an old tv from there his house burned down that night he sued the city for $300,000.00 But she said just don't let me me SEE you take it...so I didnt----- I pulled my van across the view between me and her and I dragged it aboard!

Needs a good clean up and refinish but free is good eh??


so one good thing can lead to another ..........right?




PEACE
Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

SMALL minds speak alike....





Nothing uplifting to report today...my X is still in the hospital although he is ready to be released we are wading through miles of red tape to find a permanent solution for him...
Its a very difficult decision to be making, Its not my call so at least I can hide some feelings behind that knowledge ---doesn't make it any easier to accept tho!! IF you are thinking you may need long term care do yourself a favor and prepare for it..study medicaid rules and law now so you know what to expect if you don't have                                                         LTC insurance.

So here is what happened today my nerves are raw I'm stressed, I don't sleep well these days so I'm grumpy 24/7--- recall that line You wouldn't like me when I'm angry?? Anyways...go over to the X's apartment to get some of his things to take to him tomorrow.......here comes some of his nosy neighbors...one chimes up

HER= "how is he, we heard he died,  at the McDonald's Coffee Club all they do is talk about him."
ME= "he is improving, eating well now, and getting stronger."
HER= "and....  I heard gossip about you, you're his X wife, a couple who visited said you were feeding him when the sign over the bed said Nothing BY Mouth." 
ME=" Well what they didn't know is I was allowed to feed him they did not take down the sign....and did  you know what goes around comes around for people who gossip?"
Her face turned red, she excused herself..

That comment bothered me all day..I wish I could figure out Turn the OTHER CHEEK 
it's not the comment  I made  that bothered me....it's the one SHE made...
I knew the couple she was speaking of, they had come to visit with big smiles and apparently flapping mouths...so I tried all day to recall that couple's name..and 
Bingo it finally came into my mind...

So I looked them up in the small town phone book, there they are...I dialed...and I inquired are you the couple who visited ..yada yada,,,,

YES that was Us, she almost foamed with glee---

ME= Okay great well I wanted to tell you I ran into a friend of yours today and she shared some gossip with me!
HER= Really?
ME= Yes she did...she told me how you were sharing your visit to my X's bedside with the coffee club, making it sound as if I was injuring my X by feeding him..when a sign on the wall said Nothing by Mouth..
HER= She stammered..
I continued..
ME= Gossip is hurtful, its hateful and it can come right back to bite you...the gossip you were spreading got right back to me, and now I'm getting right back to you to let you know how I feel about it.... amazing how it comes back around!
HER="what I said was taken wrong, I'm sure"
ME= "no she was quite clear on what was said and who said it..'
HER= "I would never intentionally hurt someone with gossip"
ME= Really, well you did just that, and don't forget when you're the one who is NOT there it's probably YOU they will gossip about next..and by the way....you have my permission to tell all at the McDonald's Coffee Club, that I will personally call each and everyone of them whose gossip gets back to me if it is about me...I wont gossip behind a back I will come right up front and tell you how I feel about petty pointless gossip and the people who spread it right to your face!!

Do you think I over reacted?? I felt better when I hung up!!!


PEACE
Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Cobwebs and Squeaky Wheels

Well that's been me, while I've been at the bedside of my X--he has good days and some very bad ones where they have him tied to the bed, and with wrists in restraints, all his IV's pulled out blood all over him, his eyes look wild and he doesn't know anyone and he is seeing things in the room that aren't there and then he breaks into tears...and he sobs.  He told me he is sorry for all this he looks around the room...then suddenly he smiles, "do you see all those rabbits, thousands of them." 

His mind is tortured...my heart is breaking.  I suggest everything and anything that will make him come coherent, he recognizes me but he can't quite recall our relationship one minute he is calling me by name but then he will tell others I am his sister...no matter



...so he didn't eat for 11 days----I haven't slept for what seems like the same... every bite of food I take makes me feel guilty..they wrestled him down put a feeding tube in him he pulled it out...they put one back he pulled it out...they said radiology would put in a smaller one..

I pray every night and see him in my mind's eye eating...next day I demand either place a tube or feed him!! They try again, they fail he punches and bites the tech! Later that day....I fed him a dinner of mashed potatoes, with gravy, pureed carrots and pudding... AND he asked for bread!! They didn't give him any bread--- don't matter.  I hugged the same nurse I was yelling at earlier, and thanked her for not going off on me, and she thanked me for not losing it when I was so upset with her.  We are now in a truce...him, me, and them. We are all doing better today.

... he knew me when I came in, but he thought I was there to take him to the airport so he could visit his family in England..heck I don't care, I say, "I'm looking forward to meeting your family when we get there."

I do not have any say in this treatment we have been apart too long for that he has a Power of Attorney, his son from his first marriage...we are, so far, on the same page as to what should be done, although I think he should have had around the clock help instead he had only 12 hrs a week prior to this incident! 

When the lunch tray came he ate it all!! Thank you Lord for every bite...its a step toward a better place.  Come 5 or 6 he goes through Sundowner's its a very confused state they will have to restrain him again...I always leave before that, when Hyde comes out. 

How suddenly and subtle it comes...and goes
and 13 yrs ago I stood in Brooklyn NY and stared across the East River and watched 2,606 PEOPLE die in 2 buildings that collapsed...and I thought that was the worst day of my life...

PEACE
Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.

Friday, September 5, 2014

SEPTEMBER AGAIN!

Hard week for me and my family....y'all have seen me write about my X, and the divorce etc...we have not been together for 13 years.....anyway he has had a very bad incident this week and is in the hospital and having a very rough time...I have been sitting by his bed most of the week...I am praying and doing what I can to help.  
This was to be my free 2 weeks, mom went to sisters house..and I had all sorts of trips planned and its not gonna happen right now.  
There is no way I can leave this burden to my son he is trying to work and has home responsibilities too..so although it is awkward when x's friends come to see and they see me... they are a bit taken aback but I just smile and thank them for coming by...
I hope I can get away maybe in October.  On the way to a much needed 1/2 day midweek break...I spotted this old store building



on the road to Lake Marion and had a peaceful afternoon by the water's edge...my son and his dad enjoyed fishing this lake back when my son was still living with us at home...


So this brought back good memories of when we were still a family!  I enjoyed the wildlife drive too...


If you have seen the movie or read the book titled the "Notebook" then you have an idea of what we are dealing with....this area has some very tranquil spots to unwind and shake off the stress  like under this moss covered tree.



spotted a few young birds out in the heat of the day...like this wary eastern bluebird with his sweet spots..


He was curious about me, but keeping his distance....then an Immature summer tanager was thrashing a wasp to make it into a meal...


I sat here and enjoyed the sandwich I packed for my lunch...
then continued on...


large stands of these flowers attracted lots of blue grosbeaks ...here is a back-lighted female!


and the fall seeds are ready to fly..


on the backside of the drive this Lilly-pad pond had several common gallinules, or moorhens, if you prefer.  I didn't get any decent shots of the adults, but this one youngster was out walking on the pads..


I was actually able to get lost in watching these guys for an hour...it was a great break for my brain..

This vine must be quite old look how big it is wrapped around the length of this tree..


Kind of reminds me of life with all those twists and turns 
Its about 3 weeks till my birthday and the 1 year anniversary of the fall that changed my life...September has not been kind as of late..."if I can make it through December  September, everything is gonna be alright"


PEACE
Eleanor Roosevelt: You must do the thing you think you can not.