Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Like the Buffalo

I awoke this morning yelling "no"...I was frozen in place as the warm blankets of my bed were slowly lifted by a hand- a fake hand- attached to a long wooden stick...covered by a long sleeved white shirt.
The hand of man...

I had dreams all night long, ones I dont recall except for the arm,...and when I finally gave up and tried to open my eyes, my brain felt like mush. Cobwebs crept in and covering each hemisphere with a dull numb feeling of unawareness. When finally I allowed my feet to dangle over the edge of my bed, the blood rushed down to fill my legs and toes, and I slowly rose and stood upon them. The floor under me felt solid, but cold as if I was surrounded by a fake world, one foreign to me, like a false set in old western movie where only the building facades are real... and behind the scenes
2 x 4's are nailed haphazardly in place to keep it sturdy and level. A set, a spot where I would be for only a moment in time, then suddenly it faded to black and then to surreal and then to real.

Such an odd awakening, brought from slumber to a strange world where I have never been...awakened in a new way. The numb brain has been hanging with me for a while now. I have been unable to put words into phrases let alone complete sentences that could be understood. Ive been accepting words rather than sending them out on a trailing wind in hopes that somewhere an open ear will accept them and from the ears they will find their way to the mind & heart. The diaphragm moves and lungs expand taking a fresh breath and the moment is filled with enlightenment and a bright warmth fills the air and illuminates someone else's spirit path...the light burns bright and the knowledge is accepted, taken in cherished and passed from one to the other, to the next and so forth and so one for all eternity.

Somewhere a dusty plain a new buffalo calf has hit the ground covered with the blood of life along his trip through a mother's womb...he will make his first meek call to her and she will reply as he trembles to his feet seeking the lifes milk that she has waiting for him. With each pull on her teat he will gain knowledge, the knowledge of life will pass from one to the other. He will see the journey end to end in his little calf's world. Each sun that rises will make him stronger and he will grow and in his big bony head he will carry all the wisdom taught to him by his mother and her mother before her, and hers before that and on and on until the beginning of time...

I want those memories, like the buffalo on the snowy plains, rambling around in a seemingly dumb stupor, pawing the Earth for tidbits to nourish his body while his "self" contains the secrets of the universe, locked away in the recesses of a mind mankind is unable to communicate with- he holds..un-given knowledge, the knowledge of survival in the world that comes, as the one that went before us. He seeks only grass to eat, water to drink, and to live to the day when its time for him to mate he will pass with his seed the knowledge, the necessary thread to his survival and the survival of his kind.

"Go in peace my brother the Buffalo, spread your seed and grow your herd, for the times they are 'a coming, when you will need the knowledge to keep you on this Earth."

Walking my Spirit Path one day at a time.

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